August thoughts

I'm feeling really thankful today, which should not be out of the ordinary, but there it is. It is welcomed nonetheless. I'll admit, it's been quite a while since I felt grateful about anything. Expressing thankfulness and gratitude is one thing, understanding and feeling it is quite another thing altogether. Sitting in my large open first floor last night, I was grateful for the space that will be so helpful in watching a newborn and a toddler. Funny how thankfulness overflows - I was finally able to be grateful again for a life dedicated to ministry - it can be both the most depressing and the most exhilarating work one will ever know. It can be elusive, obvious, ineffective, rewarding, dry, pointless, meaningful, frustrating, and fantastic. I have been thinking lately on Moses and his long stay on the far side of the desert, and Paul's obscurity in Tarsus, his hometown, after his conversion. Who am I to call those periods a waste of time, or question God's faithfulness, effectiveness, or plan? His thoughts and ways are indeed higher than ours.

I'm grateful for this new time that our family is entering into. A new baby, a reinvigorated ministry with students, and who knows what else. Above all, I am eternally thankful for Jesus' rescue of my soul, for my regeneration and restoration. I'm thankful for reminders that the new life is truly new - it's not a self-imposed change of attitude or behavior - it's a transformation of my nature that only He can accomplish. And He does it, has done it, and continues to do so despite me.